“I’ve been hurt in the past”. So have I mate, whassyapoint?
Why does my invitation to your heart bed have to be revoked because you’re having flashbacks of Stuart from finance smashing your ex? Why do I need to hang up because you’re too busy singing Kelly Clarkson’s ‘Because of You’ to answer the phone? At what point do we accept that our hearts have been broken in the past but moving on is the key to rebuilding it?
A friend of mine recently told me of a situation she was in where she felt like she was being pushed away from the person she was dating. She had started to invest a lot of time and effort into this guy, for him to all of a sudden become withdrawn and distant, not very talkative and generally quite cold. A little digging reveals that this person has been hurt, needs to take it slow because his perception of women is tainted. Past pain had left him totally unable to date anyone else without freaking out and treating every new girl he meets like a Tamagotchi: fucking and feeding them whenever he’s in the mood to, which isn’t often but more likely late at night when he can’t sleep (not that anyone shagged their Tamagotchi. Did you? I didn’t).
We’ve all been hurt. Some more than others and all in different ways. What happens when you lay down the ‘I’ve been hurt in the past’ with someone who too has been hurt in the past? I’m not going to fight you over who’s hurting more because I spent too much money on my Primark jumper to get your crocodile tears all over it. Are you wanting me to miss your ex as well? Because truesay us girls can bond over anything so I will call her up right now…
It’s funny how people back away and slow things down after sex. Can’t wait to make use of the 30 day free trial but not sure whether your heart stretches to the full rolling contract. That’s fine in hindsight – not everything works out and sadly sometimes you realise it after sleeping with them, but you can’t expect women to be going through with a Brazilian just to turn around and ask if she’s able to get a refund. No mate that shit hurts there is no refund for that kind of pain and trauma.
The dating world is evolving and it’s moving pretty fast. Even the good girls can’t be bothered to deal with bullshit anymore. Girls that originally wanted to give you the world are settling for scumbags who wear Gucci belts because at least they get presents at the end of a hard day doing drop offs.
It’s these nice women who want to offer you something who are getting discouraged by your inability to treat her as the woman SHE is and not the person your ex was so they’re falling back and taking a loss by replacing you with someone who’s going to waste her time even more. What a circus.
Don’t build your wall so high you can’t see over it. Acknowledge that everyone is going through something you may know nothing about. You’re not the only one who has their guard up and you’re not the only one who may need to crawl before you can walk. Besides, getting to know someone new will make you forget about your past failures and if they happen to hurt you too then at least you won’t be mad at your ex anymore you’ll be mad at this one instead. Variety is the spice of life you know.