With failed relationships and infidelity happening around the globe, it seems a certain word has made its way into our vocab to justify being unfaithful. It’s called Polyamory.
Don’t let your MCM fool you into believing he’s at one with the polyamorous lifestyle hence not being able to commit to you because the truth is he probably couldn’t handle that shit either. He just likes to say that monogamy doesn’t exist so he can get away with treating you like trash.
Polyamory: The practice of or desire for intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the knowledge of all partners.
Monogamy: The practice of marrying or state of being married to one person at a time.
If you’re dealing with a man who has several women on the side, or who simply cannot refrain from straying, that doesn’t mean he fits the criteria for a polyamorous relationship.
Sleeping with his neighbour when you’re away on business isn’t poly – it’s cheating. Poly relationships do not have sidetings and people the other person doesn’t know about.
Could your man handle you dating other men, just so he can satisfy his own needs of having sexual relations with other women? If two people who aren’t sure whether they’re poly or not jump into an open relationship the car crash is coming at 80mph.
I’ve heard a lot of stories where since polyamory has become more openly spoken about in the UK, and I guess ‘socially accepted’ a lot of people have taken advantage of their partners all in the name of polyamory.
People in polyamorous relationships don’t cheat if we’re being technical. They may hook up with other people but there is a solid foundation of trust and communication between the two primary partners, which is what makes the relationship ‘open’.
If a man cannot be honest with you, or cannot communicate his needs and desires effectively while being in a monogamous relationship, how on earth is he going to cope in an open one?
It’s an all in or all out situation. You are effectively in a serious relationship with one person, but you allow outsiders into your home temporarily. Those outsiders then leave, unless a specific agreement has been made that someone gets a rolling contract and has permission to return…
Do you know how much hard work that requires? It’s a headache to even think about.
It is wise to do your research and discuss your concerns way before you start looking at buffies on Instagram and considering the idea of an open relationship. You are going to be expected to divide your attention, loyalty and efforts into several pieces which has the potential to carry way more strain than a monogamous relationship. Do not consider it just because you’re afraid that your man will stray, or that past experiences have taught you no one is loyal – do it because it feels right.
Here are some links you may find useful: