You’ve just broken up with your partner and you feel like Lil Wayne has picked the world up and dropped it on your fucking head. Naturally, the first thing that feels right is to go on Instagram and find a suitable quote that highlights to everyone that you’ve had a mare and start hashtagging the shit out of it: #MeMyselfAndI #Independent #MyGirls #NewMe – baby girl, relax.
Whatever the reason for a breakup: it feels terrible. It is fascinating to me how much pain you feel physically over something emotional. Nothing of harm touches your body yet it is in extreme agony. If you’ve never felt that pain yet then lols – run from it when it comes dawg.
Anyway – back to the topic. When we break up with someone we often tell ourselves and anyone who will listen that we’re going to transform. We’re going to join the gym, or dye our hair. We will go out and party, maybe get a new higher waged job. Question is – why don’t we do this shit DURING our relationships? Why does there seem to be this notion that when you’ve settled down it’s mandatory to become a mere 2 at best? Especially when you’ve got the potential to be a 4…
Here is a list of 5 things that we should be actively doing during our relationships – not when they’re over. People break up for all sorts of reasons so I’m not suggesting that if you’re guilty of not doing the following then your relationship might fail, but I feel they are definitely a contributing factor to hardship amongst lovebirds in this generation.
#1 Be your own person – So you become intertwined with your partner and now you’re basically a PG version of the human centipede? Brilliant. What happened to being an individual? Making your own decisions? Having your own beliefs. Nothing more jarring than when someone slowly conforms and it’s evident it’s not 100% who they’re about. At the end of the day happiness and progression lies within you, not who you try and take it from.
#2 Going out – It’s very easy to become attached and want to spend every minute with your partner but what happens to the social life? Going out once every 4 months with only the friends who bother to stick around sounds boring as heck. Why can’t you have both? A life of socialising whether that be with girlfriends, work colleagues or family, and a life that involves no one else except you and boo. Don’t be that killjoy. Everyone slyly hates that killjoy.
#3 Striving for better – No I don’t mean on the lookout for an upgrade of your current partner, but striving for better in life in general. Why decide to settle? You’re now in a relationship so you plod along in your job, not really pushing to achieve more of anything. What happens if/when you break up? You’ll then probably realise that you’re not entirely happy with how things are generally so now you’ve got to deal with heartbreak and deal with sorting out other areas of your life as well.
#4 Make an effort – staying in bed all day in your pj’s is all fun and games until someone reminds you you haven’t washed in 3 days. What man/woman is going to stay attracted to a sloth? It’s not all about looks but of course, you need to keep the fire going – you cannot expect to stay blissfully happy if you never dress up for your partner, if you never show them your glamorous side. Remember, that’s what first attracted them to you…
#5 Maintain weight – Controversial, and so rich from me seeing as I love a pack of 9 kitkats for breakfast, but hey, that’s neither here or there. We can’t just get fat though right? I mean…WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GET FAT?? Similar to making an effort, your partner was attracted to you when they met you, and they may love you but if you suddenly make the transition from naughty little helper to actual Santa it’s going to be hard to maintain lust and seduction in your relationship. Being in a relationship is not an excuse to get fat. People may think I’m shallow but I didn’t sign up for my partner to resemble Peter Griffin 3 months after looking like Tom Hardy. I purchased Tom Hard, therefore I want Tom Hardy, thanks.
Good points and a great read. I hadn’t thought of it like that. All I would say is I think the transforming yourself is not just about losing weight etc but more a making yourself different and fresh again from the hurt of the break up. They always say you learn things even in the worst relationships and I think the whole becoming a new/better version of yourself is about moving on from mistakes and being hopefully more savvy next time… Just a thought 🙂 X
I really like the way you express your point of view. I agree with pretty much everything you’ve pointed out. I think it is mandatory, not only when in a relationship, to be your own self, always and this accomplishes so much thoughout life. But when referring to relationships especifically, I believe the best is to try and be the person he once met and strive always to be better, a better person, a better companion. Of course it is comfy to spend all day on the sofa with your legs stretched out but to do that on a regular basis is definitely a downfall. Sloths aren’t cool! xxx