For anyone who has a close (platonic) bond with a friend of the opposite sex, this question will always be confusingly annoying. Of course men and women can just be friends – but what does it depend on?
I’d say looks, for the most part. If you’re friends with someone who is highly attractive and all your other friends (who may not personally know this person too) go on about how “fit” they are whenever they stumble upon their Instagram or spot you both out together – then you may also start to agree that your friend is indeed, pretty fit.
Depending on your friendship and how close you are, this may or may not become anything of an issue. If you madly fancy them but really and truly you’re actually more acquaintances, then maybe the lines can be crossed and you go beyond friend territory. For the strong bonded friends though however, this will rarely happen.
I have guy friends I have known the best part of 10 years – and they’re all pretty fine. I’d rather chew my arm off and feed it to a goat than go anywhere near them sexually though. That’s no offence to them because I’ve just said they’re all pretty fine but once you really know someone and you’ve been friends for years, there’s nothing more cringe than visualising yourself kissing them, or more. Bleh.
But say you or your friend were, lets say…not as attractive as others in your neighbourhood, I doubt this question even crosses anyone’s mind. It’s a sad reality but let’s not sugar coat it. The “can men and women just be friends?” debate only comes about when either of the friends is good looking. That’s not to say two people who consistently hang out and share their thoughts and feelings with one another cant develop deeper feelings, but usually not unless the mutual physical attraction is there also.
Acknowledging your friend is attractive doesn’t mean you can’t JUST be friends and I don’t think women are naïve to how men think – especially in today’s society. With so many beauty products and prestige selfies flying about, looking good has become the number 1 priority for a lot of women, therefore we are already very aware that people we come into contact with will (hopefully) recognise our efforts and acknowledge our sex appeal. We want to look good, even if it’s only for our mates. As much as I wouldn’t want to get with any, I also wouldn’t want them to think I look like jigsaw. I’m aware they all probably fancy me because everyone does… nah I’m joking. Kinda. No no I am joking. Maybe…
I personally think if you have a good bond with someone of the opposite sex, it doesn’t matter how attractive they think you are – the friendship itself will be too platonic to make things weird or awkward between you. If your “friend” is simply just trying to smash you though then you’re probably not that good a friends in the first place? It seems there is a thin line between friends and acquaintances these days and not many people know the difference between the two.
Men and women can absolutely just be friends. And I agree…the thought of just kissing my guy friends repulses me, as much as I love them. I just do not see them that way. I also do not see my girl friends that way (I am bisexual). I think much of it depends on how the relationship begins. If it starts out as a dating relationship, and both people are equally interested, I think it is really difficult to be friends after breaking it off. I am attempting to be friends with a guy I began dating earlier this year, but there is still tension between us, and it’s just not working. Then again, I have another friend who I dated at first, and there is zero tension between us, even though we started out with great chemistry. Perhaps it depends on the person!
Yeah for sure – if you meet someone to form a relationship or fling, then the basis is already flawed when it comes to a natural friendship – although obviously it’s not rare that some exes remain good friends afterwards. Again as you say i think it depends on tbe person and intention – if you meet someone based on their looks then it’s not a friendship in the first place! X
I think it depends on the people involved, but the short answer would certainly be yes they can be friends!
I for one, can be friends with anyone as long as they are an “agreeable” human being 🙂 So no open carrying gun nuts or people with bibles strapped to their foreheads. Goes for both men and women.
It is actually a lot easier for me to be friends with a girl who is accepted as generally very “attractive” than not, simply because I know I’ve not got a chance in hell with her on a physical level! That makes me a good friend to most women, if you follow me, lol.
The exception is I can’t be friends with anyone I fall for in the mean time. It can get pretty frustrating hanging out with someone who I really like and know I’ve not got a chance with for whatever reason and that is when I begin taking evasive manoeuvres 🙂