Why Your New Year’s Resolutions Always Fail

I want to be wrong. I want to positively say that we will all succeed in our NY resolutions and sit round the fire in august singing Kumbaya celebrating how far we’ve got but I’m going to be real – it aint gonna happen is it. Only a small minority of people who conjure up some resolutions actually stick to them and do something with them, and I always wonder why that is.

You could say it’s because we’re all slyly weak, but I’m not sure if that’s true. I know strong men and women who can fight any situation and keep their heads high at all times but still crumble when it comes to following a NY plan.
People say it’s all about self control and will power, which of course plays a significant part, but there’s one trait which most of us overlook and I think it’s the most important: patience.

Who the hell has time to be patient? I want a 6 bedroom house with Idris Elba as my butler TODAY. If you told me I’d have that in 4 years I probably wouldn’t care for it for long. Sorry Idris.
It’s the age old dilemma – you know you’re going to be successful or have XYZ, but you have no idea how you’re going to survive until that day or what you’re going to do to get there.

Along with a lack of patience, most NY resolutions have no substance. They’re all generic things we fancy picking because it’s common and we know will make us feel slightly better about ourselves. Also because half of our mates have the same ones so we hope that they will encourage us. They don’t though do they. They encourage us to eat another cookie or down another Sambuca. Oh great. Are you going to be the one to turn down another drink at the bar? Debatable.

NY resolutions fail because they aren’t planned out properly. Lack of planning and a tendency to be inpatient is the recipe for failure. I’m into my 25^th year of it.

Let’s take a look at some resolutions and pick out WHY they might fail:

• Dieting/Getting fit: So, are you dieting or are you getting fit? They’re entirely different you know. A lot of people group it as the same thing and wonder why they have no idea where to start or why they’re stuffing another Domino’s when it’s only the 10^th of January.

  Getting fit can mean anything from being able to breathe easier to doing a set of unassisted pull ups. Dieting can mean anything from wanting to lose 10lbs to wanting to just cut out salt and sugar from meals.
  Weight resolutions fail because they aren’t specific enough. What do you want as a result of getting fit or dieting? If you want to tone up, hit the weights. If you want to lose 10lbs, look at what you’re eating – and then hit the weights.You need to know where you want to be before you can start. Simply saying I want to look like JLO holds absolutely no substance. You need to break down the resolution until you’re at the core of what it is you really want. What is it about JLO you actually desire? The Bum, the abs, the hair, the face? Break it down then focus on one thing at a time.

• Save money: The word itself just pisses me off. SAVE?! SAVE WHAT? I HARDLY EARN ANYTHING TO BE ABLE TO SAVE. As with #1, It’s important to be specific about saving. What are you saving for exactly? Do you think that you’re going to be strong enough to resist that Topshop dress or Dune shoes when you don’t really know what that saved money is going towards?Society tells us we NEED savings. We get scared and panic when we realise we have none. I know I do. It also tells us WHAT we need savings for. Who are these strangers telling us what we need our money for?

  Your saving resolution fails because you’re not sure why you’re saving. Don’t be afraid of what you want money for. Every one’s priorities are different. The main things are a house or a car. For some it’s a trip around the world, or a limited edition Chanel handbag. If you’re putting money aside every month with no end Goal on what it’s going to be spent on, you will only fall into the trap of splurging on it on a down day because you’ll think “well, it wasn’t for anything in particular anyway”. Make sure you know how much you need and how much you can realistically put aside in order to have the savings goal achievable. Also be realistic, you won’t have a house deposit in a year if you’re only putting aside £50. Sarrrry.

• Getting over an ex: Ok, we’re into a new year but your ex didn’t die and stay in 2014 and you didn’t wake up with amnesia having no idea who he even is. Just because the date changed doesn’t mean anything from last year backwards gets erased. Your mentality towards the situation needs to change, not just a simple “I’m leaving them behind”. BEHIND WHERE? You can’t leave them behind when you know you’re going to bump into them at the petrol station because you’re slyly following them around everywhere.

  Your emotional resolution to move forwards will fail when you aren’t honest with yourself about how you feel. Getting with a new person or chopping your hair off will only work short term if you’re not mentality strengthening yourself. I’m the worst for it but shamefully I know what needs to be done. You need to not be bitter, or have anger or hate towards the person. You need to be grateful for all the shit you do have in your life and realise you’re still alive even if you feel like choking on a puff pastry. Only when you realise that unnecessary hate is keeping you stuck in the mud will you be able to free yourself. Oh yeah – and don’t stalk. Stalking is the devil.

• Be nicer to people: This fails because it’s so easy to become obsessed with all the material things we think we need that we forget that a simple hello from a stranger can really change your day. It’s so easy to text your mate about how irritating your mum is being our how awkward your other mate is being when it comes to organising your night out.You cannot be nicer to others when you aren’t nice to yourself. You also cannot expect others to be nicer to you when you aren’t really giving them anything to be nice about. We’re all entitled to be loved but you can’t have this sense of entitlement just because.

  You need to know why you want to be nicer to people. And who. Strangers? Friends? Family? What are you currently doing that makes you feel that you want/need to be nicer? You need to work out what you can change about yourself which in turn will develop and grow the relationships around you.
  If you have a tendency to bitch, trying to just stop bitching won’t help you. Focus on what you bitch about, and why. Focus on how you’d feel if you spoke of nicer things than negative. It’s so draining constantly moaning about shit, I should know. I’m queen moaner. My friends have quite rightly given me the nickname moany moanerson because I just sulk alllll the time. Seriously no need for it. My life’s pretty good. Idris isn’t here yet but it’s not terrible.

 So there’s only 4 things highlighted here but I think they’re definitely the top 4 that we try and change as soon as it hits January 1^st. Hopefully I’ve broken them down a little and opened your eyes on why these resolutions fail so quickly and remind you that Rome wasn’t built in a day so even if you do start to smash these resolutions, they won’t be eating out the palm of your hand by February. Have a little patience and perseverance and I’m sure that camp fire in august will be screaming out for you to be singing kumbaya. Not that Kumbaya is relevant to anything..what even is Kumbaya?!

Have I missed any out YOU think are important or worldly known resolution failures I haven’t mentioned? Comment me! x